my future is in your hands

I am a fairly sensible person. I have a scientific mind, and often need to have a logical and rational explanation for most things. Therefore I cannot fathom my secret penchant for all kinds of fortune telling, as this whole genre goes against my instincts of rhyme and reason.
I've had my horoscope cast various times, by different people on the internet, and I still get disappointed when things don't really happen as foretold.

Everywhere I go I try to look up a local fortune teller of some kind. I have had my future read in Coca leaves in La Paz, and I've had an old witch doctor in Bolivia put a "good charm" on me, which interestingly included him placing two candles down my bra, and tying yarn around my various limbs, copping a feel whilst he was at it. As I didn't want this scary old witch doctor to put a hex on me, I went along with his little game until he started to insist on the need for rubbing oil all over my body and giving me kisses for "good luck". (ehr, no). As I've had terribly bad luck in love every since (well, and before as well to be honest), I've always wondered if the old goat didn't hex me anyway, as a punishment for putting my foot down.

Up at the Jodhpur fort there was a palm reader available for consult. Naturally I couldn't resist this opportunity. I only told him my name and date and location of birth etc, before he started to spin his magic on me. Note that he knew nothing about my profession, marital status or similar.

I was told that I have problems with depression (check), migraines (check), and upper gastric issues (check). I am dominant (no shit, Sherlock), ambitious, critical, organised and only take calculated risks (check, check, check and check). I will suffer from high blood pressure and heart disease after I'm 45 (heart disease run in the family), but I will live until well over 80. (most of my grandparents have reached a high age). My work life changed for the better around when I was 26 (started vet school), and I had an economical boom at 30 (starting to work as a vet). I will have gradual increased success at work, and more money coming along at 34-35, but my major time of prosperity will be when I'm 42.

So far so good. On the love life part though, the one that I'm REALLY interested in, the palmist was slightly more evasive. I had had a crush at 16 (who hasn't), I had a love in my mid twenties (nope, early twenties), at 29 (yes = bad), at 31 (yes = bad) and I would find someone when I'm 33. If things don't work out with this person I will have another love interest at 35/36 years of age, or at 39. When I tried to push the subject and asked whether the relationships would be happy or not, the clever little man told me, "ah, I can only read about you, not about anyone else, so it all depends on the two of you together". Clever, very clever.

And apparently I am fertile. Who would have known.

So now I guess all I have to do is to sit back and wait until next year when I'm 33. And if things don't turn out as planned, I will hop on the first plane to Jodhpur and demand my money back.