Indian marriage

A normal Indian wedding last approximately 5 days. Frankly, if they got rid of all the waiting in between the different ceremonies and blessings, this could all be achieved in a fraction of the time.
It wasn't until the end of day 2 that I even saw the bride, a shy blushing beauty who had only met her future husband for a brief 10 minutes. That evening the groom and his party (all men), stayed at the bride's village, only to take her with them back to his village the following day. Most of this time the bride was hidden in a back room, surrounded by complete strangers. I felt so sorry for her, she looked so scared, barely daring to lift her eyes off the ground. However, when I tried to test the subject with the villagers I was only rewarded with a blank stare of indifference.
"This is our culture", they said, shaking their heads at the mere thought of a love marriage.


In India the majority of marriages are arranged. It is not so much a communion of two people as the joining of two families, with similar outlooks on all aspects of life. The bride is carefully chosen by the parents, and when she is deemed as satisfactory (social status, education, financial contribution etcetera) the bride and the groom get to meet alone, to give their final verdict on their parent's choice. In theory the youngsters have the right to decline any prospective partner, but I seriously doubt that the majority of young women dare to go against their parent's wishes.
The general consensus is "first marriage, then love", and everyone involved is aware that their duty to the family and society comes first, and their own personal happiness second. It is a system that has been working for centuries, and it is as deeply rooted in the Indian mind as the idea of karma.


Stupidly I admitted to not being married when asked. This brought about bewilderment, sympathetic looks and a steady stream of suggestions of available bachelors in the village. My hostess, Pan's auntie, was even joking that I should marry her son, the shy Ashwani, who I think developed a little crush on me. The only excuse she seemed to accept was the fact that Ashwani was barely 20 years old, never mind that he barely spoke English or that I wasn't Indian: by the third day the villagers had adopted me as one of their own, and I was therefore eligible for marriage as one of their own.